I went to a musical show last night at the Unitarian Centre. Four bands played, and I really enjoyed all of them. What can I say, the general mood of the evening was really fun.

Since one week ago I feel like my whole outlook on the world has changed. I think HaShem's doing some work inside my heart. He's teaching me what it means to be his son.

Weather raises it's ugly head again. 24,ooo dead and counting from the earthquake and tsunami in the Indian Ocean. How can I possibly relate to that on the other side of the world in frozen, landlocked Saskatchewan? I mean, the most dangerous the weather gets around here is on the occasional day that Saskatoon is the coldest point in North America. And cold doesn't kill thousands of people in seconds.

I'm thinking of my friend Oliver. I wonder if any of his relatives in Sri Lanka are among the missing?

And I can't help thinking that this tsunami is nothing compared to the events the prophets foretold for days to come.

As Billy Corgan sings, "God's gonna set this world on fire!"

It's cold in Saskatoon, this I readily confirm, but apparently it's really darn cold in Minnesota.

Today was Shabbat, and Christmas for many folks in these parts. I am so thankful to Yah that I don't observe Christmas anymore. It feels so good not be messing around with the spirit of this world that is so prevalent on this day.

Back to the original topic: I had a fine Shabbat. I went tobogganing with Kiffy and Collie in freshly fallen snow, and I participated in Torah study and food consumption with some of the
Torah-faithful brethren of Saskatoon. Now a new week begins. Please Abba, may your kingdom come. Let your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart find favour in your sight,
YHVH, my rock and my redeemer

Lishuat'cha Kiviti YHVH.

A special announcement! At the suggestion of my friend P.D., he and I have started a joint weblog called 'Follow the Cloud'. We'll probably post Torah commentaries, news about Israel, and throw some juicy Two-House goodness into the blogosphere. Come check it out. Peace.

How did I arrive at this point? I believe in the God of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yakov. I keep Shabbat, I eat kosher, I wear tzitziyot, I pray with tefillin on. I'm not Jewish! So....why? When did this start? How did I get here?

It started with Yeshua. Many English speakers call Him by the name Jesus, but I prefer His original Hebrew name, which means "salvation." He is the reason I'm alive, for He has saved me from death.

A few years before I was born my parents, Tom and Laurie Paul, became believers in Yeshua. I grew up knowing Yeshua, and being told the stories from the New Testament and Tanach,
so when I was three years old I asked Yeshua to come into my heart. I didn't know much theology at age three, but I knew that I wanted Yeshua to be a part of my life.

The teenage years were tough for me. Oh, I tried not to show it, and I never 'rebelled' against my parents or anything, but my heart was in so much torment. Suddenly I became aware of sexuality, my mind was opened to reason and philosophy like never before, and I became increasingly disillusioned with the Protestant Christianity that I had grown up in. I tried to put on a brave face, and during the day I could busy myself with this and that and keep a positive outlook, but I spent many nights in tears, begging Yeshua to help. I wanted to be pure and live the Christian life, as I was encouraged by the authors of the Scripture. But I had no idea what was required of me. The Church system showed me a Christian lifestyle which espoused emotional experiences at worship services and conversion of unbelievers. From every pulpit I was told to "get right with God." They told us to repent and teach others to do the same, but they never taught us what repentance truly meant! They told us to stop sinning, but they never taught us what sin is!

I questioned the Christian religion, but I never questioned the Messiah that it was based on. I kept on believing in Yeshua.

Two years ago Yeshua started to answer my prayers, in a huge way. Some friends of mine started keeping the Torah, and as I learned about what they were doing, the Spirit of God gave a hunger to learn more. I had been searching for the roots of my faith, and I had recently come through a infatuation with the Catholic church and all it's 'traditions'. But suddenly it became clear that my true roots went much deeper; as far back as Abraham, in fact. I started keeping the 7th day Shabbat, and it felt good! While everyone was running around like chickens with their heads cut off, I was at home resting! My parents and I took the HaYesod course, and I knew I needed to change my lifestyle. I started living my life according to the Torah, slowly making changes. I quit going to the Baptist church my family was attending at the time, and I started meeting with other Torah-submissive believers to study the weekly Torah portions.

Christianity is not the religion of Yeshua. Rather, it is a religion about Yeshua. What was the religion of Yeshua when He was on the earth 2000 years ago? He was a Jew living in Eretz Israel, He had faith in the God of Israel, and He kept the Torah and taught others to do the same.

He said "Do not think that I came to abolish the Torah or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish, but to fulfill. For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass away from the Torah, until all is accomplished. Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and so teaches others, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and teaches them, he shall be be called great in the kingdom of heaven." He lived the life of a God-fearing Jew, and encouraged others to keep Torah to the fullest.

But in addition to being a great Torah teacher, He also claimed to be the God of Israel. He was the one who created the world, cut the covenant with Abraham, rescued Israel from Egypt, and gave them the Torah at Mount Zion. How could He fail to keep to obey the Torah completely, seeing as He wrote it?

The nation of Israel failed to keep their part of the covenant made at Sinai. They committed adultery with the idols of the nations around them. Indeed, since Adam and Chava sinned in the Garden of Eden, no has lived without sinning, except the man Yeshua. What is sin? It is disobedience to the laws of HaShem. All men were slaves to sin, and the consequence of sin is death. But Yeshua came to save the world from sin. When He died on upon the tree, He paid the penalty for our sins, and when He was raised to life three days later by the power of God, the power of death was destroyed. He is the long awaited Messiah!

This is the good news of Messiah Yeshua. Repent (turn from your sin, do teshuva) and believe in Yeshua, and you shall be saved and have true life. Then, having been freed from slavery to sin, start being obedient to God and keeping Torah. For He has promised to give us the Holy Spirit, and the Spirit will write the Torah upon our hearts, and will help us to obey.

Ok, on with the story. After leading me out of the Church and into obedience to Torah, the Spirit of God taught me about my identity. If I believe in the God of Israel, then I am no longer a goy (gentile) but an Israelite. HaShem says many times in the Torah that there is to be one Torah for both the native-born Israelites and the strangers and aliens living among them.
Thus, just like Ruth, I declare, "Your people shall be my people, and your God shall be my God!"
I'm a child of Abraham! Halleluyah!

If I'm an Israeli, that means that Eretz Israel is my homeland! So a year ago my friend Yakov and I flew to Israel for the Chag HaSukkot (the Feast of Tabernacles). I spent ten weeks in the Land, and it was an amazing adventure. I got to see all the ancient places and meet so many wonderful people. It's a beautiful land. Now that I'm back in Canada, I look forward eagerly to going back there.

Now this fall I've been studying Hebrew Grammar, and reading through the Torah in Hebrew. I'm getting prepared for the next part of the journey that Yah has in store for me.

And that's the way it happened. No lie.

Yesterday I went cross-country skiing and hiking with Christopher, Colin, and P.D. in the sunny-snowy-silent Nisbet Forest north of Saskatoon. We left the city as the sun rose to the fanfare of a glorious pallete of colours, and returned to the city as the sun set, and the thin sliver of moon was revealed. It was just a beautiful day.


As I habitually do from time to time, I was reading old entries from my pen/paper journal. Here is an excerpt from an entry dated Dec.16/2000:

"Mr. W- encouraged me so much. To get a good education and to make a career. Mr. W- is such an example to me."

Four years have passed. My age is now one score years. I regret to announce that (1) I did not get a good education, and (2) I have not made a career for myself. I have no high-school diploma. I presently have no job. By the world's standards, I'm not much of a success.

The world, if I may be plain, is stupid.

The world, Canada especially, is built on a foundation of temporal pleasure, good intentions, and the almighty dollar. In my country it is acceptable to murder infants and commit sexual perversion. The world is Godless and backwards.

My parents raised me with an attitude of non-conformance. I was home-schooled for all my school years, and I learned to read and study for myself, and to critically question the world around me. My parents taught me from the Scriptures, but they never imposed doctrines on me, and they encouraged me to question and form my own beliefs. I thank God for my parents. Recently, I've continued on that path. I have spent these past months studying in my home, and helping to teach my 11 year old brother, who is also home-schooled. I'm really glad for this opportunity to gain wisdom, and knowledge of the Kadosh One.

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race with joy and complete the task the Lord Yeshua has given me–the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace." Acts 20:24

One hour ago I saw the new moon. Rosh Chodesh Sameach! Happy new month!

And as Joseph learned so long ago, blow the shofar for the new moon! (See Psalm 83).

"When all the land of Egypt hungered, the people cried out to Pharaoh for bread. So Pharaoh said to all of Egypt, 'Go to Joseph. Whatever he tells you, you should do.' When the famine spread over all the face of the earth, Joseph opened all the containers and sold provisions to Egypt; and the famine became severe in the land of Egypt. All the earth came to Egypt to Joseph to buy provisions, for the famine had become severe in all the earth." Bereishit (Genesis) 41:55-57

At the age of thirty Hashem had placed Joseph in the position of second in command of one of the most powerful nations in the world. Fourteen years later he had helped to save the lives of his family, the known world, and made Pharaoh into the supreme landowner of Egypt. At the age of twenty-nine Joseph was a slave, and not only that, a slave in prison. What hope did he have? But Hashem brought him out of darkness, and exalted him above his brothers. And gave him the awesome task of saving the whole world. We serve the same God as our ancestor Joseph. That's really exciting.

I love this story!

"'...and I'm sure some Jews are very good people, and personally I'd much rather they believed something, though of course it must be very inconvenient, what with not working on Saturdays and circumcising the poor little babies and everything depending on the new moon and that funny kind of meat they have with such a slang-sounding name, and never being able to have bacon for breakfast.'"

-the Duchess of Denver, in Dorothy L. Sayers' Whose Body?

Happy Chanukah, ya'll!

This Shabbat was singularly crazy. After dinner my Aunt Carol came over and we visited with her for a bit. Then we dimmed the lights, turned up Earth, Wind, and Fire and had a dance party in the living-room. Mom, Dad, Justice, and I. And Eddie, the dog. Totally spontaneous, too. Then on Shabbat afternoon I went walking by the Saskatchewan River, heading north from Meewasin Park. Little chunks of ice bounced along the swift, dark waters. And I was running through the bush, and the cold wind was blowing, and the sun was setting, n'er was another man seen upon the path. Baruch Hashem.

Today I went to the local Synagogue for the Chanukah fair. I had an great talk with Ran. And new is falling outside, and I'm in a warm house.

I found something last night that promises to be a clue to the mystery of art.

"It is not only Christians who can paint with beauty, nor for that matter only Christians who can love or who have creative stirrings. Even though the image is now contorted, people are made in the image of God. This is who people are, whether or not they know or acknowledge it. God is the great Creator, and part of the unique manishness of man, as made in man's image, is creativity. Thus, man as man paints, shows creativity in science and engineering, and so on. Such activity does not require a special impulse from God, and it does not mean that people are not alienated from God and do not need the work of Christ to return to God. It does mean that man as man, in contrast to non-man, is creative. A person's world view almost always shows through in his creative output, however, and thus the marks on the things he creates will be different. This is so in all fields - for example, in the art of the Renaissance compared to that of the Reformation, or in the direction man's creative stirrings in science will assume, and whether and how the stirring will continue. In the case of the Reformation the art showed the good marks of its biblical base." -Francis A. Schaeffer, from How Should We Then Live?

I was wondering last night why different people have such unique and different tastes in art. One fellow loves rap music, another Bach, and another both. This woman likes Victorian architecture, and that kid over there likes shiny, modern skyscrapers, while another guy you meet on the bus is obsessed with tepees and straw-bale houses.

It must be that, just as Bach, Bernstein, and Eminem create different works of art because of their different world views, so too the consumers and patrons of art appreciate different works of art for the same reason: they have different world views. This seems to be true in my own life, for although I can tolerate and appreciate many forms of creativity, there is some art that seems to be tailor-made to suit my taste. Another piece of the puzzle falls in place....


In other news, snow is falling thickly in Saskatoon, and by night one can see millions of God-damned coloured-lights and idols strewn on the neighbours' homes and yards. It's beginning to feel a lot like...you know what.

"The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger will share in its joy." Proverbs 14:10

No one understands the heart feelings inside me. I've been thinking about art. One of the qualities that make art great is ambiguity. Music is notes, and notes can make us feel joyful, wistful, sad, tense, or relaxed, depending on the arrangement, or the mood of the listener. And so with poetry, dance, painting.

Art is an expression of heart feelings. Communication is so much more than words. A few guitar chords, a T.S. Eliot poem, or Rembrandt painting can say as much as millions of books.

And yet, in our modern art-saturated culture it's still possible to feel completely alone. There are some thoughts and feelings inside us that no one else can really know. This must be because the Creator made each of us to be special and unique. God made us as individuals.

And He knows our deepest bitterness and joy.